News of the Day

Posted in Thoughts on September 21, 2009 by danielprasatyo

Oh, God, it is a very hard day…

As we all know, last Sunday was the Idul Fitri, when moslems celebrate their victory in fighting against their desires. Yet, I heard two devastating news on my bestfriends…

The first one is from Nita. She is a friend of mine, who once helped me in managing my business. Her husband has just passed away, and as I was informed, due to the lung cancer he had — which was too late when they found out.

I could only offer them my prayer, and wish them the best, especially for their lovely child, Naura.

Second, a former teacher of Realia, is now at the hospital, for a minor stroke. I could only wish him the best, so that he could be well in no time.

And although i have several good news I’d like to share, I don’t think it’s appropriate to write them now.

The Remaining Days of Ramadhan

Posted in Thoughts on September 15, 2009 by danielprasatyo

It feels like it was only yesterday when I started to have problems with sleeping. (Yes, with sleeping. Waking up? That’s another story to tell..). I usually sleep around 2 a.m, but that is the exact time the oh-so-late-and-loud call of Sahur (the last meal you may have before you start fasting) started. And it lasts for about one and a half hour. By around 3.30, they even have a small parade of percussion, marching on every street in the neighborhood, making a short stop in front of every house they pass by.

Yes, they can even wake a dead bull.

But now, it is less than a week away from its end.

No, no; please do not think that I hate Ramadhan. I love Ramadhan. As a Catholic — but not a church goer — I see Ramadhan as the month when people try to be better. They fast, as a way to control their physical desires. This is the month when people are indeed better.

Yet, as a person who is not obliged to wake at the time when sweet dreams supposed to linger, and as a person who has troubles in waking up, I have to control my own desire as well. Desire to sleep well. Desire to stay up to 2 a.m and wake up at 7.15. I have to rearrange my biological clock — which I think I don’t have — so that I can fall asleep before 10 p.m. and wake up at the time the parade stops by my house.

Well, in the past, this has become no issue at all because I was eager to endure Ramadhan, to celebrate the Eid with my mom’s family. Her mother was Moslem, and 4 of her 8 siblings are too. However, the whole big family usually would gather in my grandmother’s house. The moslems would be up very early on Eid day, to get a spot in the plaza in front of the Grand Mosque for the prayer, while the rest, the Catholics will prepare the food for the open house.

But my grandmother has long passed away. And her children who live in Jogja are all Catholic. And her house is now for rent.

So, in these remaining days of Ramadhan, I don’t have any expectation, any anticipation.

And I really miss my grandmother’s “Sambal Goreng Krecek”. One of my grandmother’s best.

(And also for “Emping Mlinjo” which I hated but somehow she believed that I loved so that she would spare me a big jar of it — which has become one of my favourite.)

<i> Eyang, Lebaran feels nothing without you. </i>

(Damn.. where’s the tissue…?)

Pay It Forward

Posted in Thoughts on August 30, 2009 by danielprasatyo
Pay It Forward (2000)

Pay It Forward (2000)

I have heard and read the reviews to this movie, but I have just had the time to watch it a few days ago. The title comes from a simple concept introduced by Trevor (Haley Joel Osment, The Sixth Sense).

It is actually a project he proposed for his social science class, a chain-reaction scheme, i.e. one person should do one good deed to three people, and request them to pay it forward, to other three people each. And so on.

The basis of the movie is so simple, yet the movie itself is so amazing. Each character was built bit by bit, layer by layer. Every scene reveals the mystery of previous scene, yet proposing new ones.

And, as a big fan of Osment and Hunt, I can’t say anything else but bravo to their acting. The dynamics of emotional changes seemed very strong in Osment, while Hunt was so rich in her interpretation of regrets, lust, love, hatred, shame, and anger.

What makes me love this move even more is that every character was made as real as possible. There is no “perfect persona” in this movie. Every character has its own flaws, yet managed to survive and overcome the flaws from failures to failures. Look at Eugene, who was cowardly run away from home, later so arrogantly return home just to experience his worst nightmare, and tries to live his life as manageable as possible. He backed up again when his so-controlled life meets the uncertainty of Arlene (Helen Hunt).

Arlene herself is not a strong person. She made mistakes, tried to be better, but fall over and over again. When she thinks she stand up for a good decision she made, she finally sees that it was not.

Well, anyway, this is a very good movie to watch, for those who love drama. Although the ending is so unbearable, this is the kind of movie that can make me cry – in both good and bad way.

Wanna Be Just Me

Posted in Thoughts on January 30, 2009 by danielprasatyo

Another day has passed, and here I am, staying up all night making love to my CQ20.

I have lost count on how many cigarretes I have smoked, since the waiters here are all too dilligent in taking out the overloaded ashtrays and replace them with a clean new one.  But why on earth should I be here, alone?

Well, I’ve been contemplating.

A few years ago, I was interviewed by a panel for a freelance job. One of them asked: “Describe yourself in one word!” And the only words came out of my mouth were “that’s difficult..”

Yet I did not object that I was difficult. I was so self-centered, I didn’t give a damn what people think or want; what I think and I want is what mattered. Realizing that, I tried hard to change. I tried to prioritize others, so bad that now I can not even decide what I want for dinner. And recently, someone I respect said that some co-workers think that I’m an ass-kisser.

It is frightening that I have extremely changed. I am a total opposite of I was.

And yeah, I am crying now. Weeping. The feeling of being noone, something that I have been avoiding to be, is now here to stay. I feel empty. I feel alone. I feel nothing.. This feeling has been making me even worse. I am always afraid that people can easily forget me. So I stop trying to get closer to anyone, assuming it will be worthless for they will forget me anyway.

About a year ago, the lady I respect told me that despite my tough-acting attitude, she can actually see that I am even more sensitive than any woman. I said nothing, since I know it is true.  I am actually fragile, one small disappointment can break my heart apart. What make it worse is the fact that I on the other hand am so easy. I can easily give all my heart, all my hope, my faith, my life, to someone who I don’t really know, just because that person listens to me. Just because that person gives a comforting stare, just because that person allows me to be just me.

Yeah, I have never been my own self for a significant period. I have been the son my parents wanted me to be, a brother my siblings wanted me to be, a friend my friends wanted me to be, a colleague my co-workers wanted me to be, and a person they all did not want me to be as well. But I have never been just me.

I don’t want to be someone.. I want to be just me. Just who I am.

(and I know for damn sure that the world does not want me to be just me!)

mmphh..

Perang..

Posted in Thoughts on January 12, 2009 by danielprasatyo

Beberapa hari terakhir, ketika aku memilih untuk mengistirahatkan tubuh dan pikiranku secara total di kamarku yang kecil nan nyaman, perhatianku terpaku pada kilasan – kilasan gambar dan video yang disiarkan di beberapa program berita dan program khusus.

Mengerikan. Beberapa kali aku bahkan terpaksa memindah channel karena aku sama sekali tidak tega melihat wajah – wajah anak – anak kecil yang berlumuran darah dan debu, atau jasad – jasad yang digeletakkan di pinggir jalan di Gaza City, Palestina.

Ya, perang berkecamuk lagi. Entah apa sumber masalahnya, entah siapa yang memulai, aku tidak peduli. Yang menggangguku, kenapa anak – anak turut menjadi korban?

Kenapa masih ada perang?

Bukankah perdamaian jauh lebih indah?

Selamat Jalan, Kak Butet!

Posted in Thoughts on December 1, 2008 by danielprasatyo

Hari Sabtu yang lalu, berita duka datang melalui pesan singkat di telepon genggamku.

“Telah berpulang ke Rumah Bapa di Sorga, kakakku tercinta, H. Lusdina Br. Hutajulu (Kak Butet), Sabtu dini hari karena sakit. Terima kasih banyak atas dukungan doanya. Tuhan memberkati…”

Satu lagi orang yang kukenal berpulang.

Kak Butet, begitu selama ini aku mengenalnya, adalah kakak sulung dari sahabatku saudaraku, David Parulian Hutajulu. Terlahir 7 Agustus 1968, Kak Butet menderita down syndrome. Menurut dokter yang terakhir merawatnya, dan juga menurut beberapa referensi yang pernah aku baca, harapan hidup bagi penderita down syndrome hanyalah 28 tahun, karena mereka menua dua kali lebih cepat daripada orang kebanyakan. Jadi, Kak Butet, penderita down syndrome yang berusia 40 tahun, sebanding dengan orang kebanyakan yang berusia 80 tahun.

Dan belakangan, kondisi kesehatannya memang menurun.

Melihat jenazahnya tergolek di dalam peti, membuatku teringat akan pertemuan – pertemuan kami beberapa tahun yang lalu. Keceriaan tidak pernah terlepas dari kesehariannya. Ibu dan adik – adiknya memang selalu memenuhi hari – hari Kak Butet dengan perhatian, kasih sayang dan cinta.

Sayang, Kak Butet harus mendahului kami. Meskipun kami yakin bahwa Kak Butet sudah tenang di Rumah Bapa. Tapi keceriaannya akan selalu kami rindukan.

Dan untuk saudara – saudaraku, Hutajulu, yang ditinggalkan, semoga Tuhan menguatkan kita semua.

Selamat Jalan, Kak Butet…

Pornografi, Pernikahan Dini dan Privasi

Posted in Thoughts on November 13, 2008 by danielprasatyo

(setelah lama tidak menulis….)

Mungkin ini memang berita basi, tetapi ini opini fresh! hehe

Tersebutlah Syeh Puji (begitu ia menyebut dirinya) yang sempat menghebohkan jagad Indonesia, karena menikah dengan seorang perempuan berusia 12 tahun. Kak Seto, dari Komisi Perlindungan Anak pun turun tangan, menegur yang bersangkutan karena menikahi seseorang yang masih di bawah umur, dan — tentu saja — melanggar undang – undang pernikahan. Singkat cerita, Syeh Puji menanggapi respon publik dengan mengembalikan istrinya ke kedua orang tuanya, meskipun berkeras bahwa ia tidak akan membatalkan pernikahannya. Bahkan si perempuan muda merasa publik telah mencampuri urusan pribadinya, karena ia mencintai suaminya.

Di lain kesempatan, DPR telah mengesahkan Undang – undang Pornografi dan Pornoaksi. Banyak kalangan, terutama kalangan perempuan dan artis yang mengecam pengesahan tersebut karena membelenggu kreativitas.

Yang mengganggu benakku adalah, betapa pemerintah telah kelewatan, dengan semena – mena memasuki ranah pribadi! Negara yang menjunjung demokrasi ini ternyata tidak memberikan kebebasan bagi penduduknya, justru memasung warga negaranya dengan peraturan – peraturan yang merampas hak asasi manusia.

Dalam undang – undang tersebut, definisi pornografi pun bisa dibilang masih absurd. Terlebih lagi ketika pornografi diijinkan apabila berkaitan dengan seni dan budaya dan tradisi. Loh?

Ketika yang ditulis adalah “persenggamaan dan ketelanjangan”, berarti Playboy versi Indonesia tidak seharusnya dikecam, bukan? Tidak ada persenggamaan di sana, dan Andara Early pun masih mengenakan busana. Apalagi ketika pose – pose tersebut berlindung dibalik “seni fotografi”.

Apakah semua pornografi yang ada dimaksudkan untuk disebarluaskan? Tidak bolehkah kita memiliki video porno untuk dinikmati sendiri atau bersama pasangan? Dan kalau hal seperti itu tidak bisa dibeli di Indonesia, tidak bisakah membeli dari luar negeri?

Belum lagi undang – undang ini memberi ruang bagi massa untuk ikut andil. Bayangkan, apa yang akan terjadi dalam beberapa waktu mendatang. Sweeping. Ya, organisasi – organisasi massa akan mempunyai pembenaran ketika mereka melakukan sweeping di tempat – tempat hiburan, warnet, bahkan rumah – rumah penduduk dengan alasan “diduga memiliki video porno”. Bentrokan akan terjadi, pengrusakan, vandalisme…

Pemerintah (DPR) tidak memperhitungkan konsekwensi ini. Mereka merasa hanya menggelindingkan bola kecil, tapi bola salju itu akan bertambah besar dan menelan banyak korban. Dengan undang – undang ini, pemerintah tanpa sadar — atau malah dengan sengaja? — memicu konflik horisontal, mengadu domba masyarakat.

Beberapa pihak mensinyalir bahwa pengesahan undang – undang yang dinilai gegabah ini dikarenakan beberapa hal, pertama, karena mengejar target undang – undang yang diselesaikan menjelang akhir masa bakti DPR. Lucunya, undang – undang yang diselesaikan kok malah yang menimbulkan permasalahan, bukannya memecahkan masalah? Kenapa bukan undang – undang keistimewaan Jogja, misalnya, yang didahulukan?

Kedua, karena pemerintah ingin mengalihkan perhatian publik agar tak terlalu menyoroti isu – isu politik yang ada. Kenaikan harga, pemilu, korupsi dan sebagainya. Please deh! Masyarakat kita tidak sebodoh itu..

Ketiga, pemerintah ingin merebut hati masyarakat mayoritas Indonesia (pemeluk agama Islam) dalam pemilu mendatang. Hmm, Indonesia sudah 63 tahun merdeka, om, sudah tahu harus memilih yang mana…

Seharusnya, pemerintah menyadari bahwa pornografi, tidak bisa dibendung, seperti halnya pelacuran. Dan cara untuk menanggapi hal tersebut adalah dengan mendewasakan masyarakat, bukan membodohi masyarakat… Bagaimana cara mendewasakan masyarakat?

Pertama, fungsikan KTP. Selama ini KTP fungsinya — bagi mahasiswa kebanyakan — untuk jaminan penyewaan video. Kalau memang ada tontonan yang sifatnya untuk dewasa, pastikan penontonnya sudah dewasa. Pakailah KTP. Atau misalnya, biarkan saja ada SEX SHOP atau PORN SHOP, tapi benar – benar batasi bahwa yang menjadi pelanggan mereka adalah orang – orang dewasa. Ajari orang Indonesia disiplin.

(jadi teringat waktu bulan puasa beberapa waktu yang lalu. Sulit sekali mencari makan siang – untuk yang tidak berpuasa – karena rumah makan – rumah makan enggan buka, takut dirazia ormas tertentu. Intinya puasa menahan hawa nafsu, menahan diri terhadap godaan, lha kalo nggak ada godaannya, gak afdol dong puasanya?)

Kedua, untuk menyikapi para penyebar pornografi, anggap saja mereka seperti pengedar narkoba. Kalau mereka memang terbukti mengambil keuntungan material dan imaterial dari penyebaran pornografi, tuntut saja mereka dengan pasal – pasal yang ada.

Perbuatan Syeh Puji memang tidak terpuji. Saya pribadipun mengecam dan mengutuk perbuatan beliau. Tetapi, kita juga tidak selayaknya membiarkan pemerintah melanggar batas – batas privasi.

Ini negara demokrasi, atau sosialis? pemerintahan kita sebenarnya demokratis, atau tiran?

Hmm..

When Mind, Heart, and Reality Take Separate Paths…

Posted in Thoughts on October 16, 2008 by danielprasatyo

Some times ago, a friend of mine ~ Indra ~ complained about his “September”. He believed that his September must be “Ceria” yet, instead, he felt so down, he was clueless…

And I am now feeling the same thing ~ but I KNOW what makes me feel this way!

It is because three significant factors that compose my life, take their own paths… My mind keeps on saying, “It’s a BIG mistake.” My heart keeps on saying, “This is the RIGHT thing to do.”

While the reality says, “YOU decide!”

Aaarrgghhh!!!

I have several times gather them all, to decide. But there were never ever any decision, either based on majority votes or else.

And I’m still confused…

The Mist

Posted in Reviews with tags , , on October 3, 2008 by danielprasatyo
The Mist

The Mist

Yesterday, when my friends and I were talking about the latest update on religious sects, Niko suggested me to watch Stephen King’s The Mist. Mula then added that this movie is worth to watch, and that I would like it for its unexpected ending.

Well, they provoked me well, that I borrowed the rented DVD from Mula, and watched it right away. I turned on my computer and played the DVD, and instantly was drowned to the plot.

I’m not going to write the plot, though, just a simple review. It’s just I don’t want to spoil the excitement for those who haven’t watched this movie.

I’ll start with the special effect. For those who love high-quality special effects, you will be easily disappointed. The effects used in this movie are so blunt, and below standard, considering the rapid improvement of movie’s special effects of nowadays. But to be honest, the effects play a non-significant role in this movie, since the flow of the story is so strong and flawless.

And this movie also lacks scoring, too. Yet, I eventually understand that the absence of the background music added tensions to the plot.

The movie starts with a common natural events — a storm. And as the title implies, the storm is not what matters the most, but the mist, which comes after the storm. Bits by bits, clues and informations on the main idea were offered by Darabont (the director), making viewers fix all their senses into the movie, raising expectations on what will be revealed next.

What I see in this movie is that the mist here is not necessarily the mist that frightens all the people in the movie. The real mist actually creates greater mist among them: curiousity, confusion, fear, faith… The latter mist is more dangerous since those people can not see it. They know something is wrong; yet they have not enough knowledge, information, or even faith on what is wrong, and how wrong it is.

Those people start to question themselves, their beliefs, their hopes to live, their chances to survive the malady. They do not know what to believe, or even worse, who to believe. Should they just wait and do nothing — wishing that everything will be OK or at least better after dawn? Or should them take any risks to at least fight for their life? Fight what?

The mist that enclosed them makes them unable to think clearly, logically, carefully. The mist even encourage conflicts among them — creating themselves to be their own enemies. Good people ended up doing things they would never do in their lifetime.

This movie, with a quick, simple yet unexpected ending has a lot of lessons between each and every lines. Learn from mistakes; for example. Keep your positive mind in making the best solutions to every problems. Don’t rush. Sacrifice.

I will suggest you, who havent watched this movie, to immediately do it.

Fifteen Years Searching…

Posted in InterHuman Relations on September 29, 2008 by danielprasatyo

Hmm… This post will sound so corny, but I must write it anyway.

It begun around 19 years ago. I was in elementary school, and I met this wonderful God’s creation. This person, a classmate, was not at the top of the class, but she was somehow so charming that I couldn’t help admiring her. I tried to be her bestfriend, as I enjoy every single second I was with her.

One day, she decided to study abroad. My heart was already broken, at that time, realized that I could no longer see her face everyday. We exchanged letters, calls, and when she was on holiday we would meet and hang out either in her place or mine. We were so young at that time, 13 years old, and love was not a clear idea for us those days.

In 1994, I was about to move to Bandung, to have my High School there when suddenly I was sent to Jogja instead. Angry, I became anti social at that time. No friends, no family to talk to.

A few years later, when I was in a major crossroad, I started to contact all my old friends, including her. But she was nowhere to be found. My mails to her apartment in Singapore were not replied. All efforts to contact her family in Cirebon brought no response. I was devastated, that I once said that I won’t get married unless she agree to marry me… (Yeah, some of you may think I was stupid, but actually I was smart!)

And a few days ago, my bestfriend of 22 years emailed me. “I found her.”

I was shocked, surprised, speechless, motionless… and broken — when I see her wedding pictures…

Yes, deep in my heart I still love her. My heart even believes that half of it is still with her. Yet, a lucky man took her away from my dreams and fantasies, left me with nothing but wishes that they will be happily ever after.

She’s amazing, she’s lovely, she has everything I would look for in a girl.

She is my angel. My “Angel of Sky” — I wrote some pieces with the pen name of Angelosky.

My dear angel of sky, may happiness be with you and your family.

I’m happy that you are happy, and I would ask no more than for you to let me keep this feeling with me.